Understanding
by OTH-FOQ
Summary: Post 3x15. Regina finds Emma drinking her sorrow away. The two of them have a talk about love and loss. SwanQueen-ish. C O M P L E T E


_**This was supposed to be posted after last Sunday's episode and Neal's unfortunate death. Oh well. Better late than never.**_

_**Somewhat SwanQueen, I guess. Even though there is no real romantic indication. **_

_**Let me know what you think, please!**_

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Emma didn't look up when someone slid on the barstool next to hers. She already knew who it was because she could recognize that fragrance anywhere. Instead, she knocked back her drink and swallowed the alcohol, savoring the burn at the back of her throat. Emma wasn't a big drinker, she had lost the bad habit years ago, but tonight she intended to get completely drunk out of her mind. As she gestured for the bartender to bring her another tray of tequila shots, a soft hand was placed on her arm. Reluctantly, she agreed to face the other person. Her eyes took in the sight of the beautiful woman next to her and Emma had to force back her tears. What she saw in Regina's eyes was not pity—not exactly. It was more like deep sympathy and understanding.

"Where's Henry tonight?" Regina asked in a soft tone.

"With my parents," Emma replied, grateful that Regina did not offer platitudes like everybody else had.

"Do you have someone to drive you back to the apartment once you're done here?"

Emma chuckled bitterly.

"I didn't plan anything further than going to the bar."

Regina nodded pensively before she caught the bartender's attention and ordered a fancy cocktail. Emma had never even heard the name of it and it made her smile a little. Regina was always so high-class, even in a bar like the Rabbit Hole.

"How did you know where to find me?" she asked, genuinely curious.

"I asked Ruby. I was hoping to catch you at the Diner but she said that alcohol seemed like a temporary escape and that I should try here. Looks like she was right."

The blonde sighed heavily and downed another one of her shots. The bartender gave Regina her drink and asked if she wanted to open a tab which, to Emma's surprise, she accepted. She raised an eyebrow at Regina but did not ask anything. It didn't matter as Regina immediately clarified:

"I've had quite a terrible day myself, even though it doesn't compare to yours."

"What happened?"

"No, really, it's nothing compared to—"

"Regina, please. I need to think about something else."

There was a hint of desperation in Emma's voice that compelled Regina to comply.

"Well, this is another day that I spent without my son. I met my True Love and I ran away from him."

"Wait, what?! I could swear you just said you met your True Love? Is it the alcohol already impairing my hearing abilities?"

Regina threw her a dark look and Emma knew that she had heard well.

"But… how?"

"It's complicated," Regina sighed, "but back in the Enchanted Forest, when I met Tinkerbell, she offered to find my True Love for me. She used pixie dust and it led us to a tavern. There she told me that my True Love had a lion tattoo on his wrist. But I never went in. I was scared."

"Oh. And… He's here?"

"Yes. You've met him, I believe."

"Who?"

"Robin of Locksley."

"The… Robin Hood? From the Merry Men? He's your True Love?"

Regina nodded gloomily and took a sip of her drink. Emma just stared at her in a stunned silence.

"He was at the Wicked Witch's lair as well, so we looked for clues together. Then he offered to drink some whiskey that we found there and that's when I saw the lion tattoo."

"So you ran? You didn't even tell him?"

"Of course I didn't tell him!"

"Why not?"

"In case you haven't noticed, Miss Swan, my first concern isn't exactly my love life right now."

"Right. Well, I just think it's important that you know that there's someone out there for you."

Regina was about to reply that she hadn't asked for it and that Emma wasn't alone either but the words didn't come out. Instead, she opted for something else. She grabbed one of Emma's tequila shots and downed it quickly. Emma looked at her, half indignant, half impressed. She recovered rapidly though, as she stole Regina's drink and took a large gulp of the blue liquid. Of course, it was excellent, she thought as she rolled her eyes. Regina just looked at her, clearly amused, and Emma couldn't help but smile. After a moment, the heavy atmosphere settled back in and Regina's hands fidgeted nervously on the counter.

"I'm sorry for your loss, Emma. I mean it."

"I know. Thank you."

"Don't thank me. I'm just… I'm sorry that you had to experience it as well."

Emma frowned, and it was her turn to place a hand on Regina's forearm. The brunette glanced at her and there was something in her eyes that Emma knew all too well. Pain. Daniel, she realized. The pain that she saw in Regina's eyes was the exact same one that she was feeling right now. She had lost Neal, and a long time ago, Regina had lost Daniel. They were more alike than she had realized.

"I'm sorry too," Emma whispered.

Despite the music in the bar, they were close enough for Regina to hear. She smiled sadly and her right hand came to rest on Emma's.

"It was a long time ago."

"Doesn't seem like you got over it."

"Do you ever truly get over your first love?"

It was a rhetorical question, obviously. Emma didn't answer. She knew a part of her would always love Neal. He had given her the best gift she could have ever hoped for: Henry. Tears welled up in her eyes.

"I miss him already," she confessed as a lonely tear rolled on her cheek.

"I know."

"I just… I feel like it's all my fault. I brought him back to Storybrooke against his will. In Neverland I told him that a part of me had wished he was dead, and now he is."

"Emma, do not blame yourself for this. The only person to blame is Zelena. And we're going to find her and make her pay."

Emma's expression turned angry, borderline murderous.

"Oh yes, I will make her pay. I will kill her myself for depriving my son of his father. I had to tell Henry that his father was dead and he doesn't even remember him."

"He will. He has to. But I don't want you to act rashly, Emma. Zelena is powerful; possibly more than I am. She must have allies here that we don't know about. We can't afford to lose anyone. Trust me, that's not how you will have your revenge."

"And how will I get it, then?" Emma snapped.

Her hand reflexively grabbed another glass but before she could even lift it, Regina put a hand on her wrist and forced her to put it back on the counter.

"Enough."

"Regina…"

"You've already drank too much, Emma. Let me drive you back."

"No."

"Very well."

The trail of shots suddenly slid toward Regina and she took the two remaining shots in her hands and quickly drank them. She winced as the alcohol burned her throat and she let out a small cough of disgust. Emma stared at her in disbelief.

"Regina Mills, you so owe me a drink!"

"Yes, well, remind me of that once the Wicked Witch is either dead or back in Oz!"

"You've got yourself a date!"

They both laughed and Regina called the bartender to pay and get her credit card back. Emma tried to stand up but apparently alcohol had finally caught up with her and she had to lean back against the counter to steady herself.

"Are you alright?" Regina asked as she stood up next to Emma.

"Yup. Fine. Do you mind, uh, maybe taking my arm just so I don't fall down?"

"Well well, I can't say that this is a good image to give to our town, Sheriff Swan," the brunette teased her.

"I ain't Sheriff anymore," Emma grumbled as she took the arm that Regina was offering her. "Hey maybe you should ask Robin Hood if he wants to be Sheriff. Now that would be ironic considering he spent his life running from one."

Regina smiled but did not answer so Emma continued her drunken rant.

"Plus, I was a thief once, and he was too. That's funny."

"Yes, Emma, it's hilarious."

"I mean, he has a son and a tattoo and so do I. I have to have a talk with the guy!"

"What you need is to sleep it off."

Finally they reached the car and Regina had to help Emma get inside the vehicle. Once she buckled her seatbelt and closed the car door, Regina slid behind the wheel and started the engine. She would have to be careful as she had had a drink too, but she wasn't worried. It was late and with a witch and flying monkeys in town, people would not risk being out at night.

The ride to Mary Margaret's apartment was silent and Regina found herself going over her conversation with Emma and replaying the blonde's last words in her mind. She had to admit that Robin and Emma shared some similarities. However, she really didn't want to give it thought.

"Don't take me to the apartment," Emma said suddenly.

"Where shall I take you, then?"

"Home with you," the blonde replied decisively.

"What? Why?" Regina asked, taken aback by the request.

"I'm drunk. I don't want to risk Henry seeing me like this."

Regina sighed and glanced at Emma.

"Even if I agree with you, I think he would understand after the loss you've suffered today."

"No. Regina, please."

She almost sounded sober, suddenly.

"Alright, but send your parents a message to let them know where you are."

Emma complied right away. A few minutes later, the car pulled up safely in front of the mayoral mansion. Without help, Emma got out of the car and walked in silence next to Regina until they were inside of the house.

"You can take the guest bedroom upstairs next to Henry's. There's also a bathroom."

"Thanks."

Neither of them moved. They just stood there, staring at each other, until Regina cleared her throat.

"Unless you need to talk some more," she offered softly.

Apparently, it was what Emma had needed to hear and she nodded wordlessly. Regina motioned for Emma to follow her as she led the way to the living-room. They sat on the couch, next to each other, close enough to touch but not too close either. On the coffee table there were glasses and a bottle of whiskey but Regina did not offer any. Emma was drunk enough as it was.

"Hook is going to come after me even more now that Neal's out of the picture," Emma started.

"Are you not interested in him?"

"I don't know. I guess I could be, but… I'm already pretty sure it wouldn't work out between us, so why bother?"

"He should give you some space and let you grieve properly."

"Hook doesn't know what it means to give a woman some space."

Regina chuckled and she turned toward Emma.

"If he gives you too much trouble just let me know. I'm sure I can make another sleeping curse."

Her joke earned a smile from the blonde.

"Seriously though… Take the time to grieve, Emma. Let me take care of the witch. Spend time with Henry. Talk to him about Neal if you must. It's important that you—that you remember him."

Even inebriated, Emma understood that Regina was talking about her own experience too. She had lost Daniel at a very young age, like Emma had lost Neal. Then she had lost him all over again, at her own hand, much like Emma had. They were so much alike that the irony was bitter.

"I'm sorry that you had no one to talk to when Daniel died," Emma said honestly in a soft tone.

"The circumstances were different."

"You still lost the person that you loved."

"Did you love Neal?"

"I did. At least I used to. Now I think that my feelings for him weren't real anymore. Just an illusion of the past, of what could have been. It still hurts, but I don't feel like I've just lost the greatest love of my life."

"You're young. You'll find someone else."

"So will you."

Regina flicked her wrist and a fire lit up in the chimney. The soft glow of the flames was soothing and both women stared into the fire.

"Will you teach me magic?" Emma asked after a short moment of silence.

"If you want me to, then yes. It might be the only way to defeat the Wicked Witch anyway."

"I want to learn. I want to be able to protect my family."

"Then I'll teach you."

"Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow," Regina nodded. "But first, we should get some sleep."

Neither of them made a move to get up from the couch despite what Regina had just said. Instead, they sat in silence for several long minutes, eyes unfocused and mind wandering. It was comfortable. It felt nice and right. Perhaps this was a new stage in their relationship. Could they call themselves friends now? Neither Emma nor Regina were sure, but at the moment, it really did not seem important. They were who they were. They trusted each other and they could rely on each other. It was more than they had ever had in their lives. For now, it was enough.

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**_I'm not really satisfied with this one, I'll admit. But it had to be posted._**

**_Check my other SwanQueen works! "Moonlight Thinking" is just a one-shot. The other one I'm still working on._**

**_OTH-FOQ_**


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